Adult Playgounds

You've got to be kidding me...

In keeping with a recent trend of outlandish attempts to curb obesity, the New York City government has announced the installation of several "adult playgrounds" (sounds dirty) in select public spaces across the five boroughs -- sets of no-frills municipal gym equipment intended to promote exercise. The article shamelessly admits the idea for these parks was inspired in part by a 2002 trip to Beijing, where parks like these are commonplace. I find this hilarious, because these playgrounds are a regular subject of foreigner derision -- the kind of what-the-heck-China? talking point you can always bring up at a party when conversation runs dry.

Why, you ask? First of all, the machinery at these playgrounds is an embarrassment to scientific knowledge of the human body, seemingly conceived with total disregard for the concept of ergonomic design. Using them probably does more harm than good -- or at least it certainly feels that way. One machine, which looks like a low-budget version of Tony Little's Gazelle Edge (of infomercial infamy), pushes up uncomfortably on the knees as the legs swing past the lowest point in their arc. Similar problems are encountered on the no-resistance cycling machine. It's hard to believe the exercise one gets from these is healthy or effective. My faith in American ingenuity tells me to believe that whatever they build in New York will be superior, but I still find humor in the fact that these machines were the primary inspiration for the idea.

The second baffling aspect of the NYC initiative is that anyone believes the motions one performs on these machines can even remotely be defined as exercise. Most of the people who hang out at Beijing's adult playgrounds are retirees -- a group of people who think slapping their thighs or swinging their arms while walking constitute a workout. The machines that don't hurt to use are entirely worthless. One consists of a giant vertical steering wheel with a rotating knob that you're supposed to hold with both hands as you spin in circles. I guess it stretches out the arms... My favorite one to watch asks you to hold on to a stationary handrail as you wiggle from side-to-side on a small pivoting disk.

Again, I don't expect the New York parks to imitate these machines exactly. I'm sure for some the idea of just having a simple pull-up bar to use is enough motivation to break an otherwise sedentary cycle. And for what it's worth, the Beijing parks do succeed in making exercise (however broadly defined) into a social experience. So I'm not entirely bashing the idea. I just can't believe Beijing's laughable excuses for outdoor gyms were the inspiration.

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